How Not To Date a Loser

Are you seeking Mr. or Mrs. Right?

Are you doing "singleness" well?

What are you blind-sided by when it comes to dating?

Are you living the life of He's just not into you or She's just not into you?

Okay, these are a lot of questions to ponder all at once but I'm thinking one of them will resonate with you at least enough to get you to read on.

My friend, licensed psychologist Georgia Shaffer has written a book by the same title of this post, "How Not To Date a Loser". When she was on my radio program, Georgia shared great insight into the dating arena as a single, divorced mom herself.

Georgia has specific boundaries she will not cross considering who she will or will not date, do you? What is a deal breaker for you, one could be you will not date a smoker. How about "deal makers" which could be, "I want to date a Christian". Georgia shared one of my now favorite lines, "You should never settle for something that is not God's best for you."

When we recognize and rest in who we are in Christ, we have a better view of ourselves and thus are able to create healthy boundaries before we get hot and heavy into the dating scene. You can start out by listing the top 5 values of your life. What's important to you: food, family, faith, fun, generosity or wealth? Georgia has 40 make or break questions available on her website, if you sign up for her free newsletter. I highly recommend it.

Research has shown that having sex releases clouds of hormones into our brain called oxytocin which sets us up to bond with the person we are intimate with. The first time you have sex higher levels of oxytocin are released thus resulting in more teens falling head-over-heals in love with the person they date.

Another thing to consider when you begin dating, trust the input of those who have loved you before you begin dating a new person... seek wise counsel, look at the strengths and weaknesses of your possible spouse and ask yourself if you can live with the weaknesses if they never change.

Finally, Georgia suggests we date a new person through the four-seasons to see how they deal with... holidays, moments of stress, or their family before we decide that he or she is the one.

Where did this post speak to you? Let me know.